1. When it comes to customer service, the Japanese are the hardest to please and may be the most demanding customer in the world. My wife worked in the tourism industry for a year in Los Angeles and dealt with Japanese tourist on a regular basis and can confirm this. They expect things to be done on time and completed in a first class manner. Quality is the trademark of Japanese products in the US.
The exception to the rule is the lack of quality when it comes to Japanese homes. For example, poorly insulated homes with no central heating with a life expectancy of about 20 years. It is not uncommon to see a half fallen in home next to a modern building in urban Japan. Also, you either freeze you butt off in the winter or sweat it off in the summer. I’ll go into the details more about the sorry excuse of Japanese houses at a later time.
2. In America, you can go to any restroom and in most cases there will be two kinds of water, hot water or cold water. Then after washing your hands, there will be some sort of paper towel dispenser. Then guess what? You can throw the soiled paper towel in a trash can. Imagine that.
In Japan, cold weather really sucks especially when you have to wash your hands. You have to whip out the handkerchiefs as if you are 90 years
old or “Goober” of Mayberry checking the oil in your car. Trash cans? They are about as rare in Japan as finding a Santa Claus in a shopping mall. It’s OK to have all of the decorations and more and more department stores like Toys R Us at the shopping malls in Japan, but no Santa at Christmas time.3
. Have you been to a Japanese restaurant lately? You don’t necessarily need to be in Japan to experience this since I first noticed this while at a sushi bar in Redondo Beach, CA. On this particular evening, I ordered combination of sushi items from the sushi bar, while my wife ordered some broiled fish from the kitchen. In the beginning, we were happy about the dinner, enjoying the rare Okinawian beer, Orion and an appetizer. Then my order comes out and I wait a moment so that the waitress could return with my wife’s order from the kitchen. Nearly 15 minutes go by and then my wife’s order comes out. Had it not been for the delicious food, I would have complained to the owner. But, they were new, and so close to our place and serving my favorite Japanese beer, I let it slide. The next time, I made an effort to tell them, “Bring our food out together.” Not too long after that, I was listening to radio talk show host, Tom Leykis, who was ranting about a terrible dining experience he had at a sushi bar in Beverly Hills. He wanted to know why the food couldn’t be brought out at the same time. It was the same one that Madonna was a regular at.I remember two years ago at a Jonathan’s (café similar to Denny’s) I ordered
a club sandwich along with about a dozen other foreigners and the waitress brought out each person’s order one person at a time with about 3-5 minutes between deliveries. Guess who was last? I remember a colleague from the UK, who was tickled to be at Jonathan’s since he had the same name turning to me and asked, “What kind of sandwich is that anyway?”4. More on restaurants...In Japan, when you are ready to place your order, you have to holler out in a loud voice, in Japanese the equivalent of “I’m sorry!” In Japanese, it’s Sumimasen. Maybe push a button at the table informing the waitress that you are ready.
5. At one of the junior high schools that I worked at, there was a carpet in front of the shoe changing area. So, you change your shoes, then walk across the carpet with your shoes in your hand and then put your shoes on. I don’t mind but need a shoe horn (kutsu bera) in order to put them on properly. The shoe horn is located in the spot that I just left. If I put the inside shoes on, then I will have to walk across the carpet to put the shoe horn away. It is like the guy who is painting the floor and finds himself painted into a corner and then having the sudden urge to take a leak.
6. Back in 2002, my buddy from my Navy days in San Diego met up with my wife and I while we were visiting in Japan. He wanted to experience the nightlife of Roppongi and as soon as we get out of the subway in front of the Almond shop, he turns to me with a look of grave urgency and says, “I need to pinch one.” And I don’t mean one of those girls with the nice hips either. We get into the club, Gaspanic, and he comes back from inspecting the head and says, “I noticed a public toilet out front, I’ll be right back”. Then he leaves with a hand full of napkins from the table. He returns to the club and then says, “How do they take a sh*t in a hole in the ground with out falling? I imagine his backside got chapped since it was in January.
7. If you have spent any considerable time in Japan, you will notice how people walk around with “tunnel vision”. You could be walking on your side of the road and a person will cross the street and you will have to get out of their way to avoid bumping into them. Then at the train station, a person will run past you and then get right and front of you and slow down. Then they are fumbling around for their train pass and holding up the line in the process. In Korea, they are pushing you from behind but in Japan they are stopping in front of you.
8. Not too long ago, I was at the gym and conversing with another foreigner from China. Lucky devil speaks Japanese like a native but since he isn’t Japanese, he doesn’t have a complex about talking to me. Anyway, he was complaining because he is so skinny. I replied, “How many fat old people do you see still alive?” He then went on about how the key to long life was having a positive outlook on life, not necessarily maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine.
I wrote this in December 2006 in one of those "bah, humbug moods".
The Divine Wind Vault
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